Great quote on advising from Rate Your Students (a place for anonymous college faculty to bitch).
Advising is a key part of this mission. Our advisors take great care in helping students transition from the loving environment of high school into a world where nobody gives a shit about them. Although we can’t discuss the details of our patent pending advising methods (at least not until the 5th shot), it all comes down to giving each student an identification number and a course catalog. If the morons can’t figure out that they take Biology I before Biology II, then we can assume they won’t master the ATP-ADP cycle either.
Given the increasing hand-holding and mothering we're expected to give our adult students as advisors at my institution (with the bottom line of increasing retention and income), I had to laugh at the last sentence.