Lies from the pit of Hell

Here's Congressional Representative Paul Broun (R, Georgia) speaking at the Liberty Baptist Church Sportsman's Banquet (hence the audience of deer heads) on September 27, 2012, in Hartwell, Georgia.

 

 

And guess what?  This dumb fuck is a member of the Congressional Science Committee.  Guess who else is a member...  Remember Todd Akin (R, Missouri) who claimed that women victimized by "legitimate" rape don't get pregnant?

 

Our country truly is doomed.

Badlands Guardian Indian Head

I had never heard of this until a couple of days ago when a colleague told me about it at work.

In the Badlands of Alberta, Canada, near Medicine Heat, is a neat erosional formation visible in satellite imagery.  It looks like an Indian's head.  Here it is snapped from Google (50° 00' 38.20" N, 110° 06' 48.32" W).

 

Christened the Badlands Guardian, the road leading up to a natural gas wellhead makes it look like he's wearing an ear bud.  In the image above, the feature looks like a plateau when, in reality, it's a low drainage area.  Below is a picture someone took of the feature with a paraglider.

 

http://www.panoramio.com/photo/2331889

Note that it's not as pronounced from this angle and the different lighting conditions.

Here's an short "news" piece from 2006 on Canadian TV.  Love the woman in the sweatshirt.  "What does it mean?  What are you crazy?  What does it mean?  What in means is that when the water was retreating from the melting glaciers, that's where the softest part of the earth was."

 

By the way, if you need more evidence that a number of people are crazy as loons, read some of the comments about this image on Panoramio and YouTube.  Personally, I believe it's proof of contact between the ancient Mayans, who were clearly from another world based on their advanced astronomical knowledge, and the Blackfoot people of Alberta.  That's where nearby Medicine Hat, Alberta gets its name from, by the way, the ancient Mayan space gods wore helmets.  Read Erich Von Daniken for more information (Yes, I am kidding!).

 

While neat to look at, this feature is simply an artifact of weathering and erosion, only seen from above under certain lighting conditions, and an example of something called pareidolia.  It's similar to the infamous face on Mars and other features people have claimed to see in satellite images of the Moon and Mars.

C/2012 S1 (ISON)

Mark your calendar.

A new comet was discovered last week by Russian Astronomers with the International Scientific Optical Network (ISON).  It's currently around 6.6 AU (990 million km) from the Sun which puts it between the orbits of Jupiter (5.2 AU) and Saturn (9.5 AU).

Judging by the comet's size and calculated orbit, a little over a year from now, in November of 2013, this comet may be brighter than the full Moon in our night sky!  How awesome would that be!

And no, this isn't a harbinger of doomsday even though some morons on the Internet will certainly start their crazy ass speculations (if they haven't already).  The orbit for this comet is already fairly well worked out and it will miss Earth by about 60 million kilometers.

Predicting the brightness of a comet (especially a year in advance) is always tricky business, but this one looks pretty good.  Just keep in mind an apropos quote often attributed to astronomer David Levy (co-discoverer of Comet Shoemaker–Levy 9) is "Comets are like cats; they have tails and do whatever they want to do."

Butt chugging

Yes, it may come as a surprise to many who read this, but I drank in college (although I was ahead of the curve on the drinking age and it was legal when I was 18 - of course I had my first beer at age 16).  I have even imbibed to excess at times (I still don't care for certain mixed drinks I once liked).  I have never, however, even in my most depraved younger days, ever, thought of shoving a rubber hose up my ass (or asking a male friend to shove a rubber hose up my ass) to obtain my alcohol rectally.

Turns out the fine young men at the University of Tennessee's Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity have different views on such activities (Tennesse Fraternity Suspended After Alcohol Enemas).  Butt chugging (I understand that's the street term for this activity) is apparently popular in some circles  (circles I don't want to join).  The UT boys used cheap box wine since you can take the bag out and hang it as an enema bag. Probably stole the rubber tubing from their chem lab.

Why?  Perfectly sensible question.  Well, first, because they're fucking morons but, secondly, because your rectum will absorb the alcohol direclty into your bloodstream faster and more efficiently than your stomach will.  Want a near-fatal 0.40 BAC with just a few ounces of booze in a few minutes?  This is your method.  (By the way, in doing the "research" for this post, I learned that women will sometimes insert alcohol-soaked tampons into their you-know-what for the same reason - Isn't the Internet a wonderful tool for knowledge?).

Call me old fashioned, but I much prefer just sitting around with my friends, asshole not exposed,  and ingesting my alcohol orally.  When doing shots, I don't think I'll ever use the phrase "bottoms up!" again without disturbing images and young men and enemas popping unbidden into my head.  Cheers!